Stories about Jenny Mollen and Some Other People

Move over, Chelsea Handler, Mindy Kaling, and all other Hollywood-based female comedians who share a dry sense of humor and a knack for writing books.…Jenny Mollen has claimed her spot among the ranks with the June 17th release of I Like You Just the Way I Am: Stories About Me and Some Other People.

After reading an excerpt from the book in the May issue of Cosmopolitan,—if you know me, you know Cosmo is my Bible—I was hooked by Mollen’s bold sense of self and hilarious outlook on life.  I was quick to search her on Twitter—because, let’s be real, the funniest people in real life are also the funniest people on the Internet.  When she tweeted about bloggers looking to snag an advanced reading copy of the book, I was so excited!  Just a few days later, I found myself lost in Mollen’s words, her dry wit and self-depreciation consuming me and making me giggle almost endlessly.

Mollen declares that the book is about “refusing to acknowledge boundaries in any form.”  As someone who generally has a hard time caring about what other people think of me, I am intrigued by this idea of a life lacking boundaries.  “Life is too short for bullshit,” Mollen writes, “We don’t need to be perfect.  We need to be real.”

And real she is.  Mollen is unapologetic about her sometimes selfish, arrogant (her “unhumble opinion” is “really the only opinion you need to worry about”), unladylike attitude towards things.  She has a few choice words for her step-mom.  She makes Goonies references, calls tampons “’pons”, and doesn’t care about kids’ birthdays.  In high school, she was “popular (among the nerds)“, and she considers herself “one of the most ‘almost-hired’ actresses” in Hollywood.

She’s not trying to impress her audience.  (She’s not even sure she has an audience.)  And yet, you can’t help but to laugh along with her.  Here, a list of Mollen’s funniest lines:

At first we were friends in the way that you are nice to your drug dealer because you don’t want him to kill you…

She was more mature and less trashy than the Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her ankle suggested.

For a minute, I contemplated the high road myself.  Then I decided that it sounded super boring.

Unlike most dogs, he’s an actual person.

He had an asshole miniature pinscher.  Harry was a three-year-old uncivilized dick.

Was it perhaps more offensive than I’d thought?

The only real difference is that she is a total bitch and I’m not.  (…But she’s like, a fun bitch.)

My husband has always been more of my wife, so the fact that he was a better stripper than me was annoying but not a huge surprise.

Among all the crude, curse-laden jokes and uncomfortable, “unplanned” run-ins with her husband’s ex-girlfriend are pockets of wisdom that showcase that Mollen actually is a functioning adult in modern American society.  She is experienced, wise, honest, fair, and perhaps even a little bit feministic.  (Girl power, amiright?)  A special thanks to “Mrs. Jason Biggs” for these handy pieces of wisdom:

There are two types of people in the world: those who think everyone needs therapy and those who have never been.

Before you meet the love of your life, there’s usually one guy you date you try to convince yourself is him.

I think we are all guilty of overlooking things if it suits our own agenda.  But whenever we do, we are always setting ourselves up for disappointment.

There are just women you can trust and women you can’t.

Accepting my flaws and feeling less like I need to kill or be killed…has helped me sustain a handful of decent female relationships.

People are perfect only when you don’t know them.

If you want to spend your life focused on yourself, great!  Don’t have kids.  If you have kids, however, try to at least pretend to be interested in them.

Of course, after I finished reading the collection of essays, I passed the book along to my sister, a fellow reader and funny woman who I knew would quickly grow to appreciate Mollen as much as I have.  And, wouldn’t you know, she finished the book in a matter of two days and has been raving about it ever since.

To get a better idea of who Jenny Mollen is, and to follow one of the funniest women on the social media scene, follow her on Twitter and Instagram.  (But nowhere else.  Leave the stalking to Mollen herself.)


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