OITNB Season 2: I Want Answers!

WARNING: This post is not intended for those who have yet to view season one of Orange Is the New Black.

If you haven’t already heard the huge news taking Netflix by storm, I suggest you sit down because here it is: Orange Is the New Black has been renewed for a second season, and it is coming June 6th!

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Fans of the show have known for months that filming had begun for season two.  However, avid Netflix users were surprised last week when the company made a new revelation…and in a surprising way.

At the end of the second-season finale of House of Cards, Netflix featured a super short teaser announcing the release date for the new Orange episodes.

Here, I address some of the pressing questions that I’d like answered in season two of the hit show.

What will happen to Piper since she beat the living snot out of that cross-yielding Pennsatucky?  (For those of you who don’t already know, Taryn Manning, who plays Pennsatucky, has returned to film season 2.)  I mean, the general consensus of those who watched the season one’s finale was that Piper had beat the girl to death.  Not that I blame her, seeing as Officer Healy wasn’t very helpful in the wake of the whole “She’s trying to kill me!” declaration.  Still, what ended up happening to Pennsatucky after that brutal beating, and what, exactly, will Piper’s punishment be?  I’m anxious because it’d be interesting to see her back in the SHU after so much distress.

Are Piper and Alex going to pursue a romantic relationship despite Piper’s (kind of failing) engagement to Larry?  Aren’t Piper and Larry “broken up” or “on a break” or something?  Of course, the situation isn’t fair to either of Piper or Larry.  Incarceration isn’t really supposed to be a fair thing, I suppose, and we’ve already seen how the process affects the prisoners’ relationships with their loved ones.  But now that her romantic relationship with her fiance is strained, I wonder if Piper will decide that her diminishing faith in herself and humanity is becoming too overwhelming.  It makes sense that she should want to find comfort in an old flame…

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What in the hell are Daya and Officer Bennett going to do with their baby?  To be quite honest, even if there wasn’t a baby in the picture, I would still be undeniably interested in just how this forbidden lovefest would play out.  They’re adorable!  I have an unsettling feeling, though, that their plan to frame the creepy mustache douche—turns out his name is “Pornstache”—is going to backfire.  Somehow the bad guy always seems to get away with it.  Ahh, the corruption….Either way, Daya’s pregnancy will definitely add an interesting, perhaps tense dynamic to her relationship with Bennett in the second season.

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Can we get rid of Polly’s character somehow?  I know this isn’t a plot-related question, but am I the only one who is annoyed by her?  I’ll admit it’s unrealistic for me to expect Polly to wait around to make business decisions while Piper is in prison, but isn’t she being a little insensitive about the whole thing?  It could be the fact that Polly is super pregnant and thus, super hormonal, or the fact that it’s difficult for me not to be team Piper, but part of me wishes the friendship would simply drop off.

What is Boo’s story?  It seems as though every episode of season 1 explored a different facet of one of the women of Litchfield Penitentiary.  It’s been wonderful getting to know the characters and especially to see them cast in a different light outside of the prison walls.  But now I think it’s time we hear about the large-and-in-charge lady with the funky buzz cut and the salt and pepper shakers stuffed in her bra.  We already know Boo has a soft side, if only for cafeteria corn and Mercy, but what unfortunate turn did her life take to get her imprisoned in the first place?

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Will Morello ever get that wedding she’s been dreaming of?  I’m fairly certain that most of us can predict with a resounding ‘NO!’  She’ll probably never actually walk down the aisle with the infamous Christopher.  (Is he even real?)  But I, personally, think it would be beautiful if something worked out the way the women hoped it would for once.  This is me being cliché and not giving the show enough credit because, of course, the producers and writers are going to come up with a much more intense storyline for Morello.  She’s a badass.  She can’t just go and marry the civilian who may or may not be waiting outside the prison gates for her.  Part of me kind of wants to see her stick to her lesbian ways.  (Mostly because it’s hysterical when Nicky teases her about it.)

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What was Alex up to during the ten-year period between her drug smuggling days and her incarceration?  While the show gave us an idea of the ways that Piper was looking to change and improve upon her own meaning of a fulfilling life, we are left to guess about Alex’s endeaveors .  Did she continue to run a drug ring after her mother’s death and Piper’s swift exit?  I wonder if she almost found her way, fell in love again….After all, she was often met by a female friend during visitation hours at the beginning of the season.  I also want to know what, specifically, led up to Alex naming Piper as an accomplice in court.

Besides the infamous “tit punch”, what did Red do to land herself in Litchfield?  It may be safe to assume that the duct-taped garbage bags stored in the freezer in the corner deli held more than just animal meat, if you know what I’m saying.  Did the FBI have a lead or any substantial evidence that may have led to Red’s family business getting searched?  What happened to her husband in all of this?  I’m curious about what charges Red faced, how much time she still has in prison, and how she managed to get the job of top chef in the kitchen.  Also, what shampoo is she using to keep her hair color so vibrant?

I’d suggest clearing your schedule for the first week of June because Orange Is the New Black is back, and it’s all you’re going to have time to think about.  Until then, follow the show’s official Instagram for behind-the-scenes photos and footage and hilariously-edited extras.  Before you know it, you’ll be back at Litchfield.

This post was originally published on Tumblr on February 25, 2014.

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